Last night I had a barbecue with some friends. This was quite a big event for me, the first social evening I've had at home since Paul died. And it was fun! I found I was excited when I was planning it; there was a reason to tidy the garden, I bought new garden furniture, I had life.
Paul is very much in my heart but God is bringing me into a new chapter, that at last I'm ready for.
If I look too far ahead, I get scared; Paul gets smaller and the future gets bigger. I don't want to dwell on that, it's too much. But God doesn't ask that, He asks me to abide in Him and He will abide in me. Nothing more, nothing less. So that is what I plan to do. Because He knows me He will go my pace; loving, comforting and encouraging me and I will just soak up what He offers and my family and I will be blessed.
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