My Ways are Higher than your Ways

Paul died on April 14th 2011, which means I have been a widow for 1 year 1 month and 8 days.
I could tell you of the pain that followed his death; the shock, the desperate panic and the despair.  I could tell you of the mental energy and the physical exhaustion to be a full functioning Mum, but many others have written of this and my words will just echo theirs.

Instead I want to speak of the message God gave me on the day Paul died.  It was from Isaiah 55 verses 8-13.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."
This is a very hard message to take at such a time, but it was the only explanation I was given.  A word to trust that God knew what He was doing.
A message such as this does not take away the pain, it doesn't even ease it, but it does allow God in to heal.
I didn' t understand then why Paul had to die; why I should lose my husband, and my children, then aged 7 and 12, should lose their father and I still don't.  But I do know that God knows.  His ways are higher than mine, his purpose is greater.  I can choose to fight it and end up very sad and bitter, or I can choose to embrace it and allow God in to my grief.  I chose the latter.
I have a promise.  "For you shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace; the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.  Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree and it shall be to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off." (Isaiah 55 v 12-13).
This is mine and I'm keeping God to it.  My future and my family's future of joy.