Ignorance

I'm angry.  I'm sad too.  I realise how ignorant some people are of death, especially the death of a partner.  I find it incredible that being a widow seems to open a door for others to tell me that I'm going to find someone new, that I'll marry again because I'm young.  I'm glad they do not know grief.

I miss Paul. I long for him.  They think they comfort me with the words 'you'll see him again in Heaven', but they don't. I can't jump up and down with joy because I'll see my husband again in Heaven, when all I really want is him here with me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not miserable.  I'm happy alot of the time; the boys and I laugh alot at the silliest of things.  But today I cried in a restaurant when out with friends who had no idea of the extent of my grief.  I smile alot not to cover up my feelings but because I have been given the gift of life.  I'm not bitter and living in the past,  I just miss my best friend.