Today is my wedding anniversary, the second year without Paul.
No-one has commented on it. But then I shouldn't expect them to; I'm no longer married, just a widow.
People forget so quickly.
I've just come back from a family holiday in Cornwall.
Paul and I had our honeymoon there; in fact it was there he asked me to marry him when we had a weekend break in St.Ives. I have so many memories. I didn't cry in front of the children, but it hurt. It still hurts now.
On our first day my 8 yr old (who was very tired after an early start) cried alot missing Daddy.
I saw Paul before our drive down: he was wearing his cut down jeans and his white shirt (his holiday clothes) it was just a flash but so real, I thought he was with me for that moment. I couldn't breathe with the pain of missing him.
I'm sure he was there for a reason. He knew how hard the holiday was going to be for me, both physically and mentally. He always loved holidays; he was just like a little boy, so excited he didn't know what to do. And I miss that, I miss him.
Happy Anniversary my darling.
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