My future

I have had so much trouble signing in to this blog.  I'd just about given up when it suddenly worked.  How or why, I don't know and it may happen again, so this could be last time I'm able to write in this format.

So because of this I want to let you into a secret.

 I am happy.   

 
Something has changed in me. I felt a shift yesterday (Christmas Day), I'm no longer a sad, poor me widow.  My family is settled and secure.  I can stop trying to be Mum and Dad and worrying over the boys because there is no need.  Christmas Day proved that. We'll look after each other as families should, cook turkey together and burn the pigs in blankets and through it all laugh. 

This means I am moving forward.  I am excited because I see a future for me as a whole person.  I can see myself loving another man ( no-one in sight yet, so don't be too shocked!) but my heart is healing.

Sudden weird thought, I'm not going to die of a broken heart!